10/31/06 12:49 PM: This just in: Music taste linked to drug use
NEW REPORT LINKS MARIJUANA USE TO INDIE MUSIC
According to the Office of National Drug Control Policy
FEMALE VOICE: (Computer voice) Being popular was all I could think about last year. I wanted to, like, be cool with everybody. I listened to music that I didn’t like and laughed at stuff that wasn’t funny. I programmed myself to be a totally different person to everyone.
Computer voice starts to change into a real human voice.
FEMALE VOICE: But I wasn’t myself. Now I’m not pretending to like indie rock or anything like that. And people think that’s cool.
MALE VOICE: Live above the influence. Above weed. Check out abovetheinfluence.com. Sponsored by the ONDCP and the Partnership For A Drug-Free America.
In Other News…
You are only reading this web site because you are high, and you don’t really enjoy art or classical music either. Now be a good little sober person and listen to your Nickelback, Ludacris, Five for Fighting and Fergie. And don’t you dare forget to watch Survivor. Creativity is only for mindless druggie-drones.