Weblog
02/04/01 07:05 PM: Let the motherfucker burn Granted,
Let the motherfucker burn
Granted, there aren’t too many wildfires during the winter, but NBC News thought it was a topic worth talking about tonight. Indeed it is. Have you ever noticed that the effects of these wildfires are only reported in terms of property losses? Nobody ever dies in a wildfire. The same goes for all the forest inhabitants. Animals are not stupid; they know enough to get the hell out of there if the tree next to them bursts into flames. Consequently, the only thing there is to report in the way of losses is some houses that burned down because they were a little too close to the forest. What about all the trees and stuff? Well, it’s like this: A few forest fires here and there every once in a while is a good thing. That’s right, a good thing. It’s not a tragedy, except maybe for the logging industry. It’s called ecological succession. The first thing to inhabit an area are the lichens, which can grow on bare rock. They produce a tiny amount of soil so that other things can eventually grow in the cracks between those rocks. The complexity of the vegetation increases, etc. You get the idea. Eventually you have a forest with really big trees. The really big trees start to block out all the sunlight to the forest floor. Pretty soon your forest consists of pine trees and weeds. What you need is a forest fire. That will get rid of some of the big trees. Now you get a little ecological diversity again. And have no fear, the forest will revive itself. It won’t look the same again in your lifetime, but there’s nothing to worry about. So, basically, wildfires are good. The only problem is those people that feel the need to build million-dollar houses right in the forest’s asscrack. There’s no dearth of already deforested land; the least people could do is live there. Oh yeah, forget about trying to put the fires out. Everybody makes a big deal out of it. They get every volunteer fireman in the area, the National Guard, basically everyone and his brother to shuffle dirt around trying to put them out. But their efforts never seem to work. Most of the time, the fires get extinguished on their own during a good rain or when it starts to snow. Try to keep this all in perspective when you see the wildfire reports plastered all over the news this summer.
