Weblog
07/03/02 11:37 PM: So..
(12:06:07AM) Sharkbarr: how are you supposed to win over women w/ your political wit, when you never update
I agree. Although, I’m not exactly sure to what degree my political wit has won over the ladies… it was my dashing good looks and charm….
Barr also noted that The Onion has not updated in a while, and won’t be back until the 17th. This is upsetting. I get cranky without my semi-weekly dose of The Onion.
So in the spirit of The Onion, I will attempt to create one worthy of being called an Onion knockoff. Awhile back I had made a headline, but now I will expand it to a whole brief article.
Amnesty International to Start Letter Bomb Campaign
WASHINGTON, DC – At a press conference today, Amnesty International chairman John Sanders announced the launching of a new letter-bombing campaign. “In recent years, we have seen very low success rates with our standard letter writing campaigns,” said Sanders at a meeting of the National Press Club, “so we came to the conclusion, ‘screw this letter writing shit,’ and have decided to instead send small explosives to overseas dictatorial leaders.” The campaign, which is slated to begin with shipments of these new “Amnesty Letters” to officials in Iran and China, has created much controvesy. Officials from the Postal Service, UPS and Federal Express have said they will be screening for such packages. An Amnesty Spokesperson responded “The Post Office had better not give us any trouble, or we will have a few ‘Amnesty Trucks’ for them.”
